For the restless spirit!

Times seem to be bad indeed.  Not only for me. But as I look around, a lot of my close friends, acquaintances, colleagues seem to be going rough times right now - in some way or another. In different ways for each one of them, no doubt, but trying times nevertheless.... Some say it's all in the stars and the planetary positions.....general wellbeing seems to have been hit...badly. Maybe it's partially because of our choices, I guess I will grudgingly agree. But not all of it, no way! Sometimes things happen far in excess of what we deserve, and all at the same time - and we get overwhelmed, naturally.  Worry, stress, tension, cynicism, depression tend to take over the cockpit and we seem to be unable to control the nose-dive, even though we know we are headed towards where we'd rather not be. Well, I am there - as with many of you, and while I pull at every bit of positivity at my command ( and trust me, I have oodles ) I am still left gasping at times, looking h...

The numbness is gradually lifting .... as reality sinks in. I have moved from anger to disappointment, resentment and finally on to hurt in the last few weeks. Now where do I go? All of these feelings are not akin to my inherent nature - I struggle to deal with them all equally. This journey has made me claustrophobic - my restless spirit just has to get out, I want my life back....and none of these shall define my life. As they say, when you hit rock bottom, the only place to go is possibly up. My recent past has stripped me of a lot - some over which I had no control, some over which I am sure I had. But bottom line is - that they happened, and I am left stumbling. And while I pull out all stops on all the positivity that I have ever felt or preached, I have decided to Forgive..... I forgive myself for whatever my share is in bringing this on - and there must be my fair share in all of this. I forgive those that have voluntarily left me at this crossroads - they must hav...

As I have said before, Life, like a flowing river, has its own rules and route ... and I have often wondered how much control we have over it all. Yesterday, Life overwhelmed me - once again - and I stood at its crossroads. The years had paled its memory partially, so I struggled ..... unable to find my way, unsure of what I needed to do.... I was numb. My instant reaction was - did I deserve this? I guess that is typical of all who have stood at this junction before. It's comforting in a way to be a "victim"... but can we always wash our hands of any contribution towards bringing on these circumstances? In most cases, not. However, a blame game also brings us nowhere .....numbers don't stack up here. Situations seem to have minds of their own, like that flowing river, throwing you off gear when you least expect it.  I have always believed, that our life is the result of our choices, and we must take accountability for the same - but today, a very close friend ...