For the restless spirit!

I love Life. I think it's a gift, something precious, to be treasured every moment. The ups and downs of this roller-coaster ride called "Life" does not change my feelings. But of late, I am getting this feeling ..... that the world around me is looking a bit alien, a lot different to the world I grew up and lived in.....  Yes, I know... the first thought is ...it's called "Age" :)  May be it's true. May be that's the way its supposed to be.... and those who know me, will appreciate that I am pretty open in my thoughts, not judgmental, really.  Yet, at times, I look around and see a world that increasingly is moving away from the value systems I have been brought up on. It's almost like I have landed on a new planet - buzzing with Life but its manifestations are so different from what I am used to. The "right", the "good" that I have been taught so hard by my parents, throughout my convent school don't seem to...

It's common to break into a silly laughter after you've had a stupid fall, right? You are possibly hurt physically, but your ego's hurt more and you feel silly - hence you don't cry in pain, but laugh at yourself and get up, dust yourself and get going..... Life has kind of taught me that ....again and again.... There are many situations that one lands up in - where despair, hurt, disappointment, embarrassment seems rampant and you seek answers, but hey, no one's really listening!  Relationships that have a lot of care and affection, yet no way of showing the same; relationships that demonstrate a lot of care and affection but actually have none of these; many questions that you have in your mind that either have no answers or none that can be spoken of; many situations that surprise you with acts of thoughtfulness and kindness from unexpected quarters - I have learnt, more so this past year, that Life is truly unpredictable. Iska koi bharosa nahin ( there...

Death does not scare me. Never did. So, I am not scared of the time when I will be no more. Recently, I have seen death closely, too - when my mom suddenly passed away literally minutes after having reached out to me. I watched for the first time how mortal remains disappear in minutes too and all you are left with are memories - bitter and sweet.  I do not regret much in my life. That's not me.  Yes, there are a few things that I wish would have ended up differently, but I strongly believe that whatever is meant to be, will eventually happen. And as a close friend keeps reminding me - how much do we really control, anyways? Yet, and its a little more often these days, sometimes I feel .... like my time's running out...  And please note, this feeling is in no way depressing ....because it does not bring with it, any  fear or regret or sadness in any form.   The only thing I wish and pray for is time enough to see the person most precious to me, my ...

6.05 pm : I open the door to my apartment, after a long day at work..... my daughter who opens the door every day, is not at home today.  I realize soon this will be my story, every day. However I refuse to be too saddened by this thought - more important to me is my daughter's flight and I wish her to soar high, without looking back, without any strings drawing her back. But on the back of that thought is another one : will I then be alone or lonely? Lots of things rush through my mind - loads of images, perceptions, memories, dreams, experiences..... and I really wonder..... which is the better option? I am generally known to be a very social person - sometimes, close friends even believe that I draw my strength from the people around; I don't always agree - because personally, I am equally comfortable with my own company or that of select people - it depends on my mood, my frame of mind. But as I grow older, and I have noticed this for a year or so, I am seeking m...