For the restless spirit!

Times seem to be bad indeed.  Not only for me. But as I look around, a lot of my close friends, acquaintances, colleagues seem to be going rough times right now - in some way or another. In different ways for each one of them, no doubt, but trying times nevertheless.... Some say it's all in the stars and the planetary positions.....general wellbeing seems to have been hit...badly. Maybe it's partially because of our choices, I guess I will grudgingly agree. But not all of it, no way! Sometimes things happen far in excess of what we deserve, and all at the same time - and we get overwhelmed, naturally.  Worry, stress, tension, cynicism, depression tend to take over the cockpit and we seem to be unable to control the nose-dive, even though we know we are headed towards where we'd rather not be. Well, I am there - as with many of you, and while I pull at every bit of positivity at my command ( and trust me, I have oodles ) I am still left gasping at times, looking h...

The numbness is gradually lifting .... as reality sinks in. I have moved from anger to disappointment, resentment and finally on to hurt in the last few weeks. Now where do I go? All of these feelings are not akin to my inherent nature - I struggle to deal with them all equally. This journey has made me claustrophobic - my restless spirit just has to get out, I want my life back....and none of these shall define my life. As they say, when you hit rock bottom, the only place to go is possibly up. My recent past has stripped me of a lot - some over which I had no control, some over which I am sure I had. But bottom line is - that they happened, and I am left stumbling. And while I pull out all stops on all the positivity that I have ever felt or preached, I have decided to Forgive..... I forgive myself for whatever my share is in bringing this on - and there must be my fair share in all of this. I forgive those that have voluntarily left me at this crossroads - they must hav...

As I have said before, Life, like a flowing river, has its own rules and route ... and I have often wondered how much control we have over it all. Yesterday, Life overwhelmed me - once again - and I stood at its crossroads. The years had paled its memory partially, so I struggled ..... unable to find my way, unsure of what I needed to do.... I was numb. My instant reaction was - did I deserve this? I guess that is typical of all who have stood at this junction before. It's comforting in a way to be a "victim"... but can we always wash our hands of any contribution towards bringing on these circumstances? In most cases, not. However, a blame game also brings us nowhere .....numbers don't stack up here. Situations seem to have minds of their own, like that flowing river, throwing you off gear when you least expect it.  I have always believed, that our life is the result of our choices, and we must take accountability for the same - but today, a very close friend ...

Yesterday I went to attend my daughter's prize distribution in her school - something that came back into our lives after a 6 year lull - and I came back more enriched.... Ofcourse, I was extremely happy to see my daughter fight her way back to the top; more so for what it indicated to me - that she is, like me, a fighter! God bless her and always keep that fire raging in her.... But my biggest take away from this event was actually another little princess from the same school, a recipient of another much more deserving award. A young daughter, Vaishnavi Gopal, who has indeed proved to me once again that you can conquer the world with a "can-do" attitude .... seeing her smiling on stage in her wheelchair, taught me something again.... But before that, I urge you to read her story through the link below: http://www.khaleejtimes.com/nation/inside.asp?section=educationnation&xfile=/data/educationnation/2014/May/educationnation_May25.xml My daughter told me abo...

Yesterday I spent a large part of my day with myself .....I do that a lot these days! Reading, listening, reflecting ..... connects me to my soul, I guess and brings about a kind of peace of mind. Yesterday, I also did 2 other things that led to this post -  I watched again the recent Hindi movie, Queen I watched a cultural program narrating the story of Draupadi Both led me to think long and deep about the 2 central characters - both women. Rani or "Queen" - starts off as a woman you would pass by on the streets of Delhi and not even notice her at all. A non-entity almost, whose life was shaped by everyone around her. And then there is her poignant journey wherein Rani discovers the "queen" in herself, where she blossoms into a person that learns to walk with pride that shines through, to hold her head high with newly acquired dignity...  Draupadi - my favorite character in Mahabharata, the woman who was born from Fire, lived a fiery life as a Que...

In Life, things often don't turn out the way we'd want them to .... in our relationships, at work, in our investments, etc.  We often call these as our "mistakes" - and they have an impact, big or small.  And I believe, we can "chose" how to react to them. Agreed, not all mistakes can be "corrected" but I think every such situation presents us with options to make it better - we always have a choice. Today, I spoke to 2 very close friends about what they called as mistakes in their lives - ones that had a lot of impact on their current being..... and both seemed to be burdened, pulled down by these decisions that they had once made with the best of intentions. It made me think.  To me, it sounded like they were both carrying an albatross ...it saddened me. (For those that do not understand this reference to the albatross, please look up the "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Samuel T. Coleridge) And I realised that I simply can...

Let's just say, the last few weeks have not been my best....things, as often happens in this journey we call Life, weighed me down a lot more than usual....and I struggled a bit to shake it all off... I am sure we all have these moments ...when something, and you can't always pinpoint what, tends to just bring you down and you feel like cuddling up, whining a lot, spending time with someone who understands your myriad of moods and yet stands by you, holds your hands....and lo and behold, it's gone and the sun shines again!!!  We all have them, right?  The problem is some of us don't always have an option to cry out, to vent....because Life goes on, waiting for none of your complaints and takes you with it - willingly or forcibly. Moreover, because you are not a person known to complain, people rarely stop to ask - not because they don't care, but possibly because we have set expectations... At times like this, I look inward .. to help me out, to help me up ...