People say Never Expect ....
"Expectation is the root of all heartache." - William Shakespeare
Wise man indeed.
Something I learnt very early in life too.....if one can control one's expectation from those around, it is possible to avoid a lot of disappointments and heartaches. And then when those people actually do something for you, it feels like a bonus! I guess this is what the enlightened breed also preach - that you need to control your mind, and its expectations and when you succeed, you feel no pain, only sublime peace.
Well, I am not there ....not even as close as I would like to consider myself.
Infact, I also question the feasibility and desirability of this controlling of expectations......we all know that the more you love, the more you tend to expect; the more you tend to expect, the more you risk disappointment and hurt. But does that stop us? Isn't that an intrinsic part of the web of relationships that really matter? Isn't that what makes us living, breathing souls?
Yes, I know I should "manage" my expectations - from all those that form a part of my life, my being. But can I always do that? No. And is that really wrong? Yes, it may shield us from pain and disappointments, but is that what we humans really want? A kind of antiseptic life - where there is no surge of emotion - positive or negative? I think not.
When we build bonds of love and affection, somewhere down the line, we also build expectations ....sometimes, even unconsciously....despite keeping a strong look-out for those bonds, they tend to creep up into our souls...a bit like those creepers on the bare walls....
And when some of those expectations are met or even exceeded, the joy and happiness that we feel equals nothing ...it transforms us and that relationship to a different higher plane. We are ecstatic! Life looks many shades brighter!
Yet, when some of those expectations are shattered or even not reciprocated by the other party, we feel let down, hurt, disappointed .....Life no longer seems a bed of roses and we even fail to see how small our disappointments are, in the bigger scheme of things. The clouds loom large and tears brim over....
But isn't that what makes relationships special? Isn't that what this roller-coaster called Life is all about? Sometimes we ride high, sometimes we dive low, but we keep riding and that's what makes it worthwhile, right?
If I did not have expectations from those that matter, I would have missed that "high" .....yes I would have missed the "lows" too and that's really not too bad.....but how can I expect one and not the other?
I believe Life is a bit of a balancing act - between the good and the bad, the lovely and the undesirable. Much as I would only like the good parts to be more in comparison, I am also open to experience the not-so-pleasant parts, because they make me hurt, make me cry, help me get my priorities right, teach me where to focus and to appreciate the good parts more.
And so, while I know I may hurt, that I will be disappointed at times, I still expect ....I may even claim not to, or close my eyes to that creeper slowing growing and spreading .....but deep within, I am fine with it. I believe it makes me a more caring human being, a more real one. And I am not sure I ever want it to change.....
So, bring it on Life....I will accept the disappointments because I will still continue to dream of the ecstasy. I will try and manage my expectations, but I will still have them ...from those that matter.
Because if I don't expect from you, you really don't matter anymore.
Dubai Marina
6:56 am on a Friday morning
Wise man indeed.
Something I learnt very early in life too.....if one can control one's expectation from those around, it is possible to avoid a lot of disappointments and heartaches. And then when those people actually do something for you, it feels like a bonus! I guess this is what the enlightened breed also preach - that you need to control your mind, and its expectations and when you succeed, you feel no pain, only sublime peace.
Well, I am not there ....not even as close as I would like to consider myself.
Infact, I also question the feasibility and desirability of this controlling of expectations......we all know that the more you love, the more you tend to expect; the more you tend to expect, the more you risk disappointment and hurt. But does that stop us? Isn't that an intrinsic part of the web of relationships that really matter? Isn't that what makes us living, breathing souls?
Yes, I know I should "manage" my expectations - from all those that form a part of my life, my being. But can I always do that? No. And is that really wrong? Yes, it may shield us from pain and disappointments, but is that what we humans really want? A kind of antiseptic life - where there is no surge of emotion - positive or negative? I think not.
When we build bonds of love and affection, somewhere down the line, we also build expectations ....sometimes, even unconsciously....despite keeping a strong look-out for those bonds, they tend to creep up into our souls...a bit like those creepers on the bare walls....
And when some of those expectations are met or even exceeded, the joy and happiness that we feel equals nothing ...it transforms us and that relationship to a different higher plane. We are ecstatic! Life looks many shades brighter!
Yet, when some of those expectations are shattered or even not reciprocated by the other party, we feel let down, hurt, disappointed .....Life no longer seems a bed of roses and we even fail to see how small our disappointments are, in the bigger scheme of things. The clouds loom large and tears brim over....
But isn't that what makes relationships special? Isn't that what this roller-coaster called Life is all about? Sometimes we ride high, sometimes we dive low, but we keep riding and that's what makes it worthwhile, right?
If I did not have expectations from those that matter, I would have missed that "high" .....yes I would have missed the "lows" too and that's really not too bad.....but how can I expect one and not the other?
I believe Life is a bit of a balancing act - between the good and the bad, the lovely and the undesirable. Much as I would only like the good parts to be more in comparison, I am also open to experience the not-so-pleasant parts, because they make me hurt, make me cry, help me get my priorities right, teach me where to focus and to appreciate the good parts more.
And so, while I know I may hurt, that I will be disappointed at times, I still expect ....I may even claim not to, or close my eyes to that creeper slowing growing and spreading .....but deep within, I am fine with it. I believe it makes me a more caring human being, a more real one. And I am not sure I ever want it to change.....
So, bring it on Life....I will accept the disappointments because I will still continue to dream of the ecstasy. I will try and manage my expectations, but I will still have them ...from those that matter.
Because if I don't expect from you, you really don't matter anymore.
Dubai Marina
6:56 am on a Friday morning
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