We all make mistakes ....

In Life, things often don't turn out the way we'd want them to .... in our relationships, at work, in our investments, etc. 

We often call these as our "mistakes" - and they have an impact, big or small. 

And I believe, we can "chose" how to react to them. Agreed, not all mistakes can be "corrected" but I think every such situation presents us with options to make it better - we always have a choice.

Today, I spoke to 2 very close friends about what they called as mistakes in their lives - ones that had a lot of impact on their current being..... and both seemed to be burdened, pulled down by these decisions that they had once made with the best of intentions.

It made me think. To me, it sounded like they were both carrying an albatross ...it saddened me.

(For those that do not understand this reference to the albatross, please look up the "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Samuel T. Coleridge)

And I realised that I simply cannot let my mistakes - however big - weigh me down...more importantly, keep me down. 

Yes, I have fallen many a time, sometimes badly, stupidly....and it may have taken me a while to struggle up ... but I have managed to rise each time so far and when I did , I have shirked off the negativity of the fall, the mistake. 

Sometimes, it's been relatively easy...many a times, it's been tough, very tough. But each time, I have refused to give in. 

And I'd like to share my simple approach to dealing with my mistakes in Life:

• Acknowledge them - be honest to yourself, try and understand, as best as you can, what actually went wrong. Sometimes, this is usually best done in retrospect. 

This honesty has been key to allowing me to deal with my mistakes.

• Don't blame anyone or anything  - it's too tempting to blame others for our own mistakes; its easy; it makes us feel better - believing that it's not our doing. But trust me, we always have a role - we make choices, we allow things to happen, we decide to act or accept - believing things would turn out in a particular way. 

I too, have initially blamed others, outside factors, things that were outside my control. But gradually, I have tried my best to look inwards and see clearly how I have aided the process - what I could have done differently had I expected different results. Blaming anyone or anything doesn't lessen the hurt, it just prolongs it. You have to let go.

• Don't beat yourself for long - it's happened, done...you can't undo maybe. Lament, shout, cry - allow yourself...but only for a while. Then stop beating yourself. You can't keep paying the price for the rest of your life, can you? 

I try and learn what I could have done different - sometimes I understand, sometimes it fails to hit home, despite my earnest efforts. Either way, I move on. I forgive myself. 

• Move on, keep walking, shift your focus - Yes, you have been stupid, crazy, a fool, but it's over and done with; you know what you can do about it or what you can't, look around for options to make it better, to get you going again - for props, for inspiration, for support - whatever works best for you. Stop thinking about what went wrong - keep the focus on what can be made better, even if you are down in the dumps! There is always something you can do. And if not, shift the focus to something completely different - learn a new skill, a new hobby, change your job, your car, go snorkeling or sky-diving, travel to new places, fill your mind with new ideas ....anything ....that will help you forget your failings and give you energy to move again.

This is absolutely critical for a person like me - to get up, to brush off the pain and to focus anew and start moving again. I am open to doing just about anything that will distract me from negativity and fill my body and soul with so much energy that I won't have time for anything else. I have tried crazy stuff, but thankfully, it has worked and I have been able to move ahead in life, my head held high again, my self esteem intact.

Thankfully the fear of failing or falling does not hold me back from anything.....still...

This post is specifically for those 2 close connects of mine I referred to earlier - and they will know who they are. Please don't be saddened by anything that has not gone as planned - there is still so much more to Life. 

Look around. 

Believe in the NOW. 

Stay happy, always.