I just want to be ...

I had been toying with this for so long that most around had even stopped taking me seriously ..... 
But finally, I have turned the page; I have closed this chapter. 

I moved to this fantasy desert city 15 years ago, almost unwillingly. Yet these 15 years have perhaps been the most fulfilling in my life - shaping the person I am today; this adopted land has given me a lot that I am, and always will be, thankful for. 

But I am done here. Done with this country and the region. Done with my corporate life. Done with my comfortable living. Don't get me wrong - I have loved it all; I just want different now - despite the obvious risks.  

And all this was decided, way before CoVid-19 hit the world and shook it hard. In Dec last year, I had resigned from my cushy job with the intention of returning back to my homeland during the summer of 2020. This was to be my year of transition! 

The virus threw in a curve ball earlier in the year - but in a way, it helped me prepare for the next chapter. 

Expat living in a young, vibrant and ambitious city is exhilarating. And I dived right into it all, living and loving the frenzy. I made some amazing new connections and lost others that were expected to last. I lived, laughed and loved with all I had. I watched my little one grow and blossom here and then fly away. I grew professionally in a way I possibly couldn't have, anywhere else. I counted my many blessings, all the way. 

Yet, as the years passed, there was this feeling deep within that was bubbling to surface - the feeling that this was not the final shore, that there was more to experience.... a different new beckoned and its call got louder and louder. I realized a ship is not meant for safe shores. I knew it was time. 

As I begin to ramp down and wait for the right time to set sail.... almost everyone asks me, what's next? 

People expect a plan, or atleast options! I am not one of them. Rarely have I closed one door in my life, knowing fully well where the next open door led to. I have always believed in taking the leap of Faith - trusting that my Shepherd will either give me wings to fly or point out new shores to land. 

So for now, I just want to be..... 

To take some time off ... to stop running after anything .... instead use the time to practice gratitude for all that has come my way whilst I was here .... to relish all that helped me grow.... to relinquish all that no longer serves me..... to be open to all that's headed my way ....to empty the cup so that there's place to fill up again. 

I genuinely don't know what's in store next but it doesn't bother me too much. Over the last 52 years of my life, I have dealt with all, as best as I could. Why will that change going forward? And as the CoVid situation has taught the world, how much do we really control anyways? 

So for the rest of 2020, I am just going to be....  Que sera sera ..... 






"Going with the flow is responding to cues from the universe. When you go with the flow, you are surfing Life force. It's about wakeful trust and total collaboration with what's showing up for you."
- Danielle LaPorte

Comments

  1. Unknown1 July 2020 at 10:23

    In the process, you are inspiring many to believe in their wings and fly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown1 July 2020 at 10:24

    In the process, you are inspiring many to believe in their wings and fly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. paramita...just paramita1 July 2020 at 20:42

    Fly my friend.

    ReplyDelete

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