For the restless spirit!

I love Life. I think it's a gift, something precious, to be treasured every moment. The ups and downs of this roller-coaster ride called "Life" does not change my feelings. But of late, I am getting this feeling ..... that the world around me is looking a bit alien, a lot different to the world I grew up and lived in.....  Yes, I know... the first thought is ...it's called "Age" :)  May be it's true. May be that's the way its supposed to be.... and those who know me, will appreciate that I am pretty open in my thoughts, not judgmental, really.  Yet, at times, I look around and see a world that increasingly is moving away from the value systems I have been brought up on. It's almost like I have landed on a new planet - buzzing with Life but its manifestations are so different from what I am used to. The "right", the "good" that I have been taught so hard by my parents, throughout my convent school don't seem to...

It's common to break into a silly laughter after you've had a stupid fall, right? You are possibly hurt physically, but your ego's hurt more and you feel silly - hence you don't cry in pain, but laugh at yourself and get up, dust yourself and get going..... Life has kind of taught me that ....again and again.... There are many situations that one lands up in - where despair, hurt, disappointment, embarrassment seems rampant and you seek answers, but hey, no one's really listening!  Relationships that have a lot of care and affection, yet no way of showing the same; relationships that demonstrate a lot of care and affection but actually have none of these; many questions that you have in your mind that either have no answers or none that can be spoken of; many situations that surprise you with acts of thoughtfulness and kindness from unexpected quarters - I have learnt, more so this past year, that Life is truly unpredictable. Iska koi bharosa nahin ( there...

Death does not scare me. Never did. So, I am not scared of the time when I will be no more. Recently, I have seen death closely, too - when my mom suddenly passed away literally minutes after having reached out to me. I watched for the first time how mortal remains disappear in minutes too and all you are left with are memories - bitter and sweet.  I do not regret much in my life. That's not me.  Yes, there are a few things that I wish would have ended up differently, but I strongly believe that whatever is meant to be, will eventually happen. And as a close friend keeps reminding me - how much do we really control, anyways? Yet, and its a little more often these days, sometimes I feel .... like my time's running out...  And please note, this feeling is in no way depressing ....because it does not bring with it, any  fear or regret or sadness in any form.   The only thing I wish and pray for is time enough to see the person most precious to me, my ...

6.05 pm : I open the door to my apartment, after a long day at work..... my daughter who opens the door every day, is not at home today.  I realize soon this will be my story, every day. However I refuse to be too saddened by this thought - more important to me is my daughter's flight and I wish her to soar high, without looking back, without any strings drawing her back. But on the back of that thought is another one : will I then be alone or lonely? Lots of things rush through my mind - loads of images, perceptions, memories, dreams, experiences..... and I really wonder..... which is the better option? I am generally known to be a very social person - sometimes, close friends even believe that I draw my strength from the people around; I don't always agree - because personally, I am equally comfortable with my own company or that of select people - it depends on my mood, my frame of mind. But as I grow older, and I have noticed this for a year or so, I am seeking m...

Today I am 47..... fast approaching 50!!! Phew! As I look back at my last birthday - I see a lot has changed.... far more than I could have imagined back then....Life and I have been in the boxing ring, it seems, and I have been knocked out a couple of times....the wind has been blown out of my lungs... it's been exhausting, truly. Yet, as I stand today, I feel blessed ..... and..... loved.....still. For every fall I have had, God has given me a hand to hold, to help me up again. My spirits have sagged many a time, but have never been defeated....and each time I was weighed down by my circumstances, something or someone lifted my drooping shoulders and I have managed to smile again.... As I see my daughter stand tall and firm beside me, despite all the storms around us ..... I feel blessed ... As my "connects" reach out and embrace me, their love and warmth melts my soul and I feel blessed ...again... As I receive loving messages and calls from across the glo...

The road is long and the sun is scorching The journey yet, has to be made Places to go, milestones to reach The lonely traveler sometime faces defeat. And then suddenly it looms ahead, a tree, a bit of shade It brings a bit of spring back to the tired feet Like a mother, waiting for her tired children The tree coaxes the traveller to rest a bit, put the feet up The heavy trunk relieves the tired shoulders As the traveler rests for a while and recuperates  The branches provide a warm shelter from the blazing sun His eyes close as it would in a warm embrace. The traveler finds a few moments of solace; he lets go of himself in the warmth of that embrace. He is in peace....for a while. But after a brief slumber, he jumps to his feet He has miles to go; he remembers, his promises to keep Some kind of raw energy seems to have soaked into him  This bit of shade has prepared him for his journey again And he carries on.... with one last look at the solitary tree ...

As I enter the month I will celebrate my 47th birthday, I celebrate myself ..... Birthdays have always been special to me - mine and those of my "connects" - always a reason to celebrate Life, of simply being and being blessed in so many ways. I have never missed a chance to spoil myself on my birthday - I am usually the first to buy myself a birthday gift .... as I have done this year too :)  I am important to me and I think I am pretty proud of some parts of me.... and somehow this gives me strength more and more, propels me ahead, despite all winds that blow against me. My school of thought has always been that if you don't love or respect yourself, no one else will.It's not about arrogance or conceit, as some around me see it as; it's about understanding who you are, changing what you don't like, if you can, being proud of what remains and being comfortable in your own skin. I truly believe that!  And I think it is important for anyone who ...