10:38 pm, May 25 
Dubai

Don't know about the restless bit, but I am definitely traveling much more than I should be ...... just back from my third trip to the City of Joy in the last 2 months!! Even the immigration officer commented .....and each time, the situation has been far from happy...

Anyways, will not delve much into the personal battles that God seems throwing my way like darts .....I am dealing ok - sometimes I break down, sometimes I get defiant, sometimes I become wise and philosophical and take it all in my stride ( like I actually have an option to do otherwise??? ) ...anyways, as I said, I am OK!

What I would like to talk about today is my City of Joy - my Kolkata and a lot of it possibly applies to the rest of Incredible India too.

Those who know me well, know that while I live in Dubai for the past 7 years, I have never quite got used to this place and while I like its comfort and conveniences and most importantly, the money and lifestyle it has gifted me....I can never call this place "home". I know my friends back in India will say this is typical NRI speak....you guys have all the love because you stay away and only witness the good things when you spend a few days in that land. Maybe they are right, maybe they are not.....because I have always had the good fortune to travel across the globe from a very young age and I have always felt the same...Now is no different!

For me, "home" is that age old, even rotting, city that has withstood many many generations and still stands...maybe not as tall, but with an unique character that is so difficult to explain.

A few months back, someone had asked me - who I was? That was quite a "googly" for me - given where I stand at life's crossroads!!! So in true consultant style,  I did a quick diagnosis and came up with what I constituted ....little bits of me that when framed together pretty much summed up my existence. And I realized I was an "enigma" ( always loved the sound of that word anyways ) .... a paradox in many more ways than I had earlier envisaged.

Interestingly, during my last few visits to my hometown, I realized that the same holds true for that city as well. Kolkata is also an enigma, a complete paradox - and I am possibly just a by-product! Okay, now that does take away my glory a bit (sigh!) but hell, that's true. That's why this bond...that's why what we Bongs call, this "taan" :)

Possibly because I have travelled a reasonable amount and also because I still live in a completely different environment, I see it so clearly .....

Last evening, I saw a recent model of a Range Rover driving past my building in Kolkata...a very premium car - a status symbol in many countries .....upon asking, I heard there were many on the narrow streets of this city...and there were BMWs, Jaguars, even Porches .....So I understand that Kolkata has also learnt to flaunt its money! While a lot of the "bhadrolok" community there definitely turn up their noses and say, these are "upstarts", no class, no culture, only money, most probably "black"....the fact remains that the "if you have it, flaunt it" culture is definitely settling in. That may be new but many are happy to be a part of it. This part, I understand completely - living in a land that believes possibly more in Brands than in basic human values!!!! Happy bunnies, this lot, definitely...and all power to them. They keep my country's economy pumping and all the largest of worldwide companies flocking to this "laid-back" land that is now suddenly become a land of opportunities - an "emerging" market!

On the other hand, I ride a rattling Ambassador taxi ( the only ones in the globe exist possibly in Kolkata ) the kind that would make you aware of bones that you never thought existed within you.....and the cab driver, from neighboring Bihar, surprisingly seems just as happy!!! He sweats and swears all day long, but also listens to Bhojpuri songs on his car "cassette- player" ( don't think this generation even knows what that is and its too difficult to explain to a generation raised on Steve's gizmos) and sings along nonchalantly, stopping once in a while to either abuse the government or the police or the sultry weather or to enquire about you and your life! Does he aspire to ever drive a Range Rover or actually do anything else? I doubt! He just wants to make enough money and go home to his family periodically and retire some day to his village. He seems surprisingly content with his lot too!

Then there are the malls - the many new shopping malls coming up in this city like mushrooms - filled with bits and pieces of that emerging market - all wannabes ( please note a tint of that snooty attitude that I just referred to above!!! ) all driving the Indian economy and loving this new consumerism. Hordes of them - every where - striving, pushing. jostling. Happy and energetic.

On the other hand, there are the infamous hawkers of Gariahat doing brisk business too - have always been there for as long as I can remember. A big part of our unorganized retail segment - so also part of that emerging market...and there are their customers too. Also in hordes, also striving, pushing, jostling. Happy in their own way and highly energetic too.

I could go on forever - in restaurants - fancy five star properties to roadside dhabas, both equally popular and filled with happy places; even hospitals, of which I have been a frequent visitor recently - there are the huge ones mostly set up by the NRIs of Bengal and catering to the upper strata, while there are also many smaller more humble clinics and nursing homes that dole out what goes by in the name of "treatment" - both kinds have insurance scams, good doctors and bad, smiling care-givers - yet the faces of the family members sitting in the reception show the same concern, joy or sorrow.

The people who stay there love that place and hate it too - they are not indifferent. They are frustrated by a zillion things that are going so wrong with that place, yet find peace in some form or the other within that very city - like the embrace of a loved one, after a long and tiring day. Does not mean that the troubles of tomorrow shall cease to exist because of that warm embrace....definitely not, may even get worse....but what it does mean is that warmth and affection and "taan" will give them the reason to fight on, to take on another day, another challenge....

That's what I have realized is my city, Kolkata - a paradox and that's what I am too! I truly belong ...






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