To attach ....or to detach ?
Life always likes to throw "googlies" at you - I have come to understand that; it's like a little game Life wants to keep playing with you....And its your choice to play ball - go on the front foot, get defensive or refuse to bat ..in other words, go into denial!
I recently read an interesting post by an extended member of my family - who has incidentally denounced the material world and moved beyond - about human attachment and how it is but natural.....struck a chord somewhere....
I have always believed that we need to manage our expectations and that is the route to happiness and being at peace.....but is that always possible? Is it also desirable? Are we not going against human nature to lower expectations? But if we expect, we open ourselves to disappointment and hurt and that's never good, is it?
This recent post triggered a thought process ......one has always heard through the ages that beyond a point in one's life, one should start to detach ....from material things, relationships, expectations, trivial pains and even joys. But does that really work? Or is it the way we mortals are built?
I have realized that there is no age for attachment - you are never too old to get attached to something new, someone new, someplace new ......you can't really control that. It happens. And it can happen when you least expect it. Another of Life's "googly" - it's like Life saying with a wry smile, "Now, you go deal with it!"
So, standing where I am in my life, am I expected to detach from this kind of "attachment" - to go swing my bat high and refuse to play ball?
My cousin's post reminded me that we don't really have to detach from all - its not normal, its not even desirable, it goes against human nature, against social norms. When a kid is born, natural bondings happen and while that attachment may change its nature as the kid grows, the basic ingredients should pretty much remain the same. We, humans, are born to attach - to different things - and detachment should not be planned or intended.
Yes, by fostering more and more attachments, we run the risk of being let down, of being hurt and disappointed. But you can't let that fear keep you away from the countless joys and happiness that such attachments bring to us in the meanwhile..... You can't let the fear of possibly being hit by a car keep you from getting on to the roads, can you? You just have to be safe, follow the rules and hope no freaky incident happens ....same with Life....
So, I rejoice in my attachments - my bondings - old and new. I am aware they can cause pain at any time, I may even steer away from those that repeated bring me down. But for those that make me happy, that make me feel good about myself...I am more than happy to keep them, to nurture them fondly....
Yes, even at this stage in my life, I am open to attach.......and I am blessed that Life has given me opportunities to. I will not consciously detach for fear of hurt.
I recently read an interesting post by an extended member of my family - who has incidentally denounced the material world and moved beyond - about human attachment and how it is but natural.....struck a chord somewhere....
I have always believed that we need to manage our expectations and that is the route to happiness and being at peace.....but is that always possible? Is it also desirable? Are we not going against human nature to lower expectations? But if we expect, we open ourselves to disappointment and hurt and that's never good, is it?
This recent post triggered a thought process ......one has always heard through the ages that beyond a point in one's life, one should start to detach ....from material things, relationships, expectations, trivial pains and even joys. But does that really work? Or is it the way we mortals are built?
I have realized that there is no age for attachment - you are never too old to get attached to something new, someone new, someplace new ......you can't really control that. It happens. And it can happen when you least expect it. Another of Life's "googly" - it's like Life saying with a wry smile, "Now, you go deal with it!"
So, standing where I am in my life, am I expected to detach from this kind of "attachment" - to go swing my bat high and refuse to play ball?
My cousin's post reminded me that we don't really have to detach from all - its not normal, its not even desirable, it goes against human nature, against social norms. When a kid is born, natural bondings happen and while that attachment may change its nature as the kid grows, the basic ingredients should pretty much remain the same. We, humans, are born to attach - to different things - and detachment should not be planned or intended.
Yes, by fostering more and more attachments, we run the risk of being let down, of being hurt and disappointed. But you can't let that fear keep you away from the countless joys and happiness that such attachments bring to us in the meanwhile..... You can't let the fear of possibly being hit by a car keep you from getting on to the roads, can you? You just have to be safe, follow the rules and hope no freaky incident happens ....same with Life....
So, I rejoice in my attachments - my bondings - old and new. I am aware they can cause pain at any time, I may even steer away from those that repeated bring me down. But for those that make me happy, that make me feel good about myself...I am more than happy to keep them, to nurture them fondly....
Yes, even at this stage in my life, I am open to attach.......and I am blessed that Life has given me opportunities to. I will not consciously detach for fear of hurt.
“Though surely to avoid attachments for fear of loss is to avoid life.”
Life's beautiful - let's enjoy it fully....
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