Sometimes, you just have to let it flow .......


“You make yourself strong because it's expected of you. You become confident because someone beside you is unsure. You turn into the person others need you to be.”

Today I feel like this ...... like I am actually becoming the person others expect me to me .... strong, mature, understanding, positive, brave...... all good stuff .... but guess what? I hate it! I hate it, for now.

I am tired of listening to people, well-wishers all I am sure, tell me how well I am doing and how much mental strength I am showing. Truly tired. 

Today, all I want to do is scream, shout out loud till my lungs hurt, cry so much that my tears run dry, kick something so hard that my foot hurts....... I want to vent, to grieve, to mourn, to crumble and fall. I want someone to hold me and say it's going to be ok. And I know it will, yet I am looking for this reassurance, today. I wonder why? 

I guess I am a bit tired.... but surely it's ok to feel this way? 

I am restless again, but I do not seek peace - not today.....I seek the luxury of lamenting, of letting down all my defenses, of being human....

Please allow me this lapse. I need it. Allow me to internalize the pain, the anguish, the grief, and get it out of my system. And that, I will..... I promise....

Too often, people who are "strong" are expected to just take everything in their strides - mostly they do - but we need to be able to give them the leeway to also show their fears, deal with their insecurities, live through their disappointments and griefs. Hold their hand while they cry, if you can. Or else just let them be - don't ask them to bounce back and be "strong" always.......no one, not even the sun, shines brightly all the time.....



So, please don't stop me as I weep silently today. I promise not to weep for long. I can't afford to. I am "meant" to be strong .....and I will be....just not now.....

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