Some days ... I feel like my time is running out .....
Death does not scare me. Never did.
So, I am not scared of the time when I will be no more.
Recently, I have seen death closely, too - when my mom suddenly passed away literally minutes after having reached out to me. I watched for the first time how mortal remains disappear in minutes too and all you are left with are memories - bitter and sweet.
I do not regret much in my life. That's not me.
Yes, there are a few things that I wish would have ended up differently, but I strongly believe that whatever is meant to be, will eventually happen. And as a close friend keeps reminding me - how much do we really control, anyways?
Yet, and its a little more often these days, sometimes I feel .... like my time's running out...
And please note, this feeling is in no way depressing ....because it does not bring with it, any fear or regret or sadness in any form.
The only thing I wish and pray for is time enough to see the person most precious to me, my baby, cross her next milestone and be on her way... soaring high... leaving the world behind, to new horizons, as I know she will.
And I know God hears me when I say this prayer....He knows what's best for us all..
But getting back to that feeling .... I don't think I am great at "intuition" either, so it's in all probability not true. I could live to be a grand old 100 for all I know - God help those around me then!!!!!
Yet, I sometimes have this feeling of sand slipping out of my hand and somehow that energizes me, in a strange way. Does that sound too weird??
Suddenly I remember all those things I still want to do, all that I would still like to experience, all that I still want to say to people I care for, all that I still want to do with them and I almost feel like panting when I realize I must do it all.... and soon.....
That's why I generally don't save my candles anymore; I say what I have to, I do what I would like to, as much as possible. Life is too unpredictable not to. I have a chance today; I may not tomm. So why put off anything? and that leads to a rush of adrenalin ....
As cliched as it may sound, I truly believe one should put off for tomorrow or another day, some other time - what can be said, or done, today.
And hence I continue to seize the moment; today I continue to live, laugh and love more than I used to, yesterday!
Make your today as precious as you can, as they say tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Do something you have been thinking about for long, but have never got on to doing.
Explore that road that has been attracting you for long and you have been thinking about it, but can never muster up the courage to walk.
Reach out to those people that have been on your mind, but in your daily rush, you simply have not had time to connect with.
Plan that trip that has been in the corner of your restless soul, put dates, book tickets, get going.
Do as much as you can .... before the sand runs out ..... so that you don't have too much of regrets, when the time does come....
So, I am not scared of the time when I will be no more.
Recently, I have seen death closely, too - when my mom suddenly passed away literally minutes after having reached out to me. I watched for the first time how mortal remains disappear in minutes too and all you are left with are memories - bitter and sweet.
I do not regret much in my life. That's not me. Yes, there are a few things that I wish would have ended up differently, but I strongly believe that whatever is meant to be, will eventually happen. And as a close friend keeps reminding me - how much do we really control, anyways?
Yet, and its a little more often these days, sometimes I feel .... like my time's running out...
And please note, this feeling is in no way depressing ....because it does not bring with it, any fear or regret or sadness in any form.
The only thing I wish and pray for is time enough to see the person most precious to me, my baby, cross her next milestone and be on her way... soaring high... leaving the world behind, to new horizons, as I know she will.
And I know God hears me when I say this prayer....He knows what's best for us all..
But getting back to that feeling .... I don't think I am great at "intuition" either, so it's in all probability not true. I could live to be a grand old 100 for all I know - God help those around me then!!!!!
Yet, I sometimes have this feeling of sand slipping out of my hand and somehow that energizes me, in a strange way. Does that sound too weird??
Suddenly I remember all those things I still want to do, all that I would still like to experience, all that I still want to say to people I care for, all that I still want to do with them and I almost feel like panting when I realize I must do it all.... and soon.....
That's why I generally don't save my candles anymore; I say what I have to, I do what I would like to, as much as possible. Life is too unpredictable not to. I have a chance today; I may not tomm. So why put off anything? and that leads to a rush of adrenalin ....
As cliched as it may sound, I truly believe one should put off for tomorrow or another day, some other time - what can be said, or done, today.
And hence I continue to seize the moment; today I continue to live, laugh and love more than I used to, yesterday!
Make your today as precious as you can, as they say tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Do something you have been thinking about for long, but have never got on to doing.
Explore that road that has been attracting you for long and you have been thinking about it, but can never muster up the courage to walk.
Reach out to those people that have been on your mind, but in your daily rush, you simply have not had time to connect with.
Plan that trip that has been in the corner of your restless soul, put dates, book tickets, get going.
Do as much as you can .... before the sand runs out ..... so that you don't have too much of regrets, when the time does come....
Your positivity reflects!! Another well written piece. ...love you for what you are :)
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