Trade-offs !!!!

Dictionary meaning:

A balance achieved between 2 desirable but incompatible features, a compromise.

In recent conversations with my connects, I have been talking a lot about choices, options, decisions that set me thinking .... and hence this post. 

In my relentless search for peace, I have realized more and more the need for such trade-offs. The faster we realize what these thresholds are for each of us, the closer we will get to a more peaceful plane.

As human beings, "wants" are natural to us. We want whatever constitutes "good" - a good life, loving and caring family, great job, good friends, great car, good food, good times, etc. We want to keep what's working well for us and we want what looks good in other's lives as well. 

"I want to be able to travel as often as she does.." 
"I wish my life was as carefree and bohemian as his..."

It's all too easy to want more, to look outside of ourselves and what we have, to seek beyond ..... and that's when our mental peace starts to get messed up. We start running after things, experiences, dreams, even people - that may not truly "belong" to us.

I am not suggesting that we should not aspire for better things and that we should not seek inspiration from what's around us. No. I believe one should always strive to be better as long as one lives. But that "better" should be defined by what matters to us and us alone, not drafted by what works for others. 

Once we have identified what that "better" life means for us, there is need for action, choices, decisions. And this is where my concept of "trade-offs" come in....

How much are we willing to let go of what we have, in order to get more of what we want? 

As they say, you can't have the cake and eat it too, can you?  

How much of an abusive relationship are you willing to take on before you take steps to break free? 

How much of adjustments are you ready to make to keep a relationship going, before you decide it's not worth it?

How much do you listen to your mind when your heart, your gut is saying something else to you?

Which battles are worth fighting for? And which ones should you just let go? 

How much should one compromise? And for what? 

There are no perfect answers for all of the above. There are no set thresholds, no set red lines. 

Yet, if you sense turmoil in your life, in your relationships that refuse to settle, you have to reflect about these boundaries for yourself - you have to set your own thresholds, identify your trade-offs - you have to make decisions, choices or you have to make peace with your circumstances. 

To get, you've gotta give - that's what Life has taught me. Most things unfortunately come with a price and that's not always about money. 

What are you willing to pay and to get what.... is the key trade-off that we all must acknowledge at some stage or the other of our lives....

To find happiness, harmony, balance, peace of mind, one has to learn to focus differently, to have a different perspective, to give up on a few things or people who don't really matter in the bigger scheme of things, to let go of some "wants", to understand that not all is ideal in our lives and it doesn't have to be....

When life does not go where you wanted it to, it's very easy to complain, to pity yourself. But does that really help? 

Instead, take time to step back and reflect, take stock, understand what matters most to you, identify how much you can and are willing to change, understand what levels you can adjust without changing intrinsically as a person, accept what seems like minor aberrations on your selected path, shift the focus to what can get better and how, instead of crying over milk that has long spilled.... 

All easier said than done, I will admit. 

But ...if you want to lift yourself out of a rut that you seem to have inadvertently got into, I don't see another route. 

At the end of the day, it's your life.... and how you want to live it.... depends largely on your reaction to whatever good or bad Life throws your way.