Being #50andFabulous : Post 2 - Keep Safe Distance

If you are in the same age bracket as me (and I don't necessarily refer to mental age here!) you've travelled long enough to have made many associations along the way. Friends, family, colleagues, clubs, communities - each circle must have grown substantially over the last 30 odd years. And each must have been necessary for specific times during that ride. 

But now's the time to take stock, I say..... 

As we continue our journey through life, we tend to gather a lot of luggage that sometimes tend to stick on - sometimes they just stay out of old habits, sometimes they stay because we prefer the comfort or sometimes, they stay just because we haven't really assessed their value anymore. 

Over the last few years, I have been consciously taking stock. Be it with my social media links or my circle of connects - those I keep in physical touch and like to spend my time with. For someone who always opted to give more, I guess I have become a little selfish now. Don't get me wrong - I am still all for giving back and for doing for others (and I will talk about that in another post) - but I have now decided to carve out a space for myself - build an exclusive club that allows in members - only by invitation!!! 

I am at a stage where I am well and truly done with drama and situations/people that can only drain - and I guess we all have a fair share of that. I now Keep Safe Distance from all such situations / people. Its not that I judge any of them - I don't; there must be enough valid reasons why people do what they do and why things are as complicated as they often are - its just that I can no longer resonate with them and find them weighing me down. And I refuse to stay down. So like I am about to enter a room filled with toxic smoke, if I perceive negative vibes that I can do nothing to improve or have no inclination to, I turn immediately and shut the door firmly behind me. And I hug myself and say - no, I won't let you go there, you are precious and I need you to stay clear. 




This may have distanced me from a few that feel I am not as receptive to their pains as I have been previously - and I am ok with that. Being the kind of person I am, I always try to listen, to empathize, to try and find ways to alleviate the lows of those around me - but I have also seen that some people have issues that run deeper than I can address, some are unable to follow what I say - either intentionally or otherwise. I try and earlier, I would keep trying; now I give up after a while - acknowledging that it's no longer within my sphere of influence. And I move away. 

I think it is critical for us to "audit" our relationships at this stage and see which are the ones that are critical, the need to haves and the nice to haves - and to divest our energies accordingly. I also believe in removing those associations that drain us now - not for anyone's fault but only because negativity is something you'd rather not have around any more. 

Focus more on connects that either lift you higher emotionally and spiritually or atleast make you feel happy and good, make you laugh and look forward to stuff. That's what I do. And I don't even think I am answerable to anyone in this regard - I am doing this for me, I matter to me. 

Yes, I also have another side of me that choses to give - to places / associations that are truly worthy and deserve, as per my value system. 

But if you don't fall into either of these 2 camps - you may not hear from me any more, though I truly wish you well. 

So do you take stock, my friends?



Because you deserve it now!

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