Posts

Those lazy, hazy days of summer

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Today marks the end of my summer of 2024. Not because it's any special day in the calendar but simply because I have marked it so. ( These days, I mostly do as I please! )  Today I do nothing but simply look back.... I am not a fan of summers normally - especially given that I have been based in a sandpit for the last 20 odd years. Like most of us expats who live here in the Middle East, I have always found summers a good time to escape - either travel  back to India or to visit other countries that have, or used to have, cooler temperatures.  This year, I stayed put, mostly :) And it was different.  Yes, it was very hot and one had to stay indoors almost all the time but there was a sense of quiet and peace in and around Dubai that I quite enjoyed. Over the last 2 months, almost every expat had left the country, there were less cars, less traffic, less noise, empty malls and restaurants and generally a sense of slowing down every where. Even less socializing! So one...

About drawing lines

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As the years pass by, I realize, more and more, the importance of drawing lines. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The world is divisive enough on its own - some may say do we really need more boundaries between us?  The answer to this question could be debated. Yet, I have always been a fan of personal spaces - a concept alien to most Asians, definitely Indians! For me, it's linked to giving another human being the respect he/she deserves and ensuring that I have the same - the space to breathe free, to think without any pressures, to decide on my own. I tend to feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable, otherwise.  However, growing up - especially in my twenties and thirties, I did prioritize on "belonging" - to many groups and communities, for both personal and professional reasons. My circles grew so large that by the time I was in my mid forties, I again felt the need to set some controls once again - ...

We are all work in progress!

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  It's a new year again, new beginnings as they say .... and I wish for all, beginning with me, to be better, updated versions of themselves this year.  Yesterday, I met up with some friends and we were discussing about how we are changing constantly as the years roll by, as our perspectives change, as we "mature" and grow older! We spoke about how we used to be, say even 5 years ago, and how much of that has changed now. We also debated about whether it was even possible to change who you are intrinsically!  What I took home with me is that most of us are always "work in progress".... We are who we need to be, depending on where we are standing in our life's journey. At times, we are fierce warriors; at other times, we are gentle nurturers. Some phases make us materialistic as we build our worlds for those we love and care for and we wish for more; then, as the years pass, we move to more spiritual realms when we learn to let go of more and get back to the ...

Your world is as big as you make it

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Dec 1, 2023 Suddenly the year seems almost gone and its time for the usual annual reflections - how did it all go for me? did I move the dial in any way?  I have been blessed to have yet another year - pretty much the way I wanted it to be, so personally, no regrets and a lot of gratitude!  This year I also did a few things I had not done before - and each of these experiences have been an opportunity to learn, to grow and to expand my horizons. Courtesy them, I have realized once again that your world can expand and contract just the way you want it to. - if you are mindful enough.  Recently I was in Bengaluru and a dear friend, whilst clicking this picture below, told me about an art installation that she had seen depicting that we can, using our hands, expand or contract our world. It struck a chord!  Till about a year ago, I was busy purging all that I felt no longer served me in my current chapter - old unused belongings, some relationships that had run its cour...

Community : a place to belong to or a network of meaningful connects ?

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We are social animals.  That's what we have been taught and that's what we believe in. Coming from a small family where we kind of went our own ways very soon, friends quickly became my social safety net - and so it remains. Expat life made this more relevant and the social functions of a family  were almost seamlessly taken over by my amigos, over the years. Today, if I think of a happy gathering of people to celebrate anything, I first think of friends and whatever family remains, follows next.  I am pleasantly surprised by those I see still surrounded by close family members and actually choosing to spend their happy and sad moments with them - I wonder what they did differently to be able to remain this way in a world where friends have mostly become what family used to be!  However, that is not the point of this post - this is about our own sense of community and how growing older has impacted this feeling of belonging for me.  Those who know me well, know ...

Do people change ? Or can they never ?

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Change has always been a keyword in my life. I acknowledge that it is the only constant. Many a time, I have been a frontrunner in bringing about this change - personally and professionally.  Yet, one question has always been at the back of my mind as I worked through Change and People over the years.  Can a person truly change - intrinsically? at the very core?  I am not sure I have an answer, even today!  A large part of my adult and professional life has been dedicated towards helping people develop and grow - through overcoming weaknesses or acquiring appropriate new skills and learned behaviors. The foundation of these endeavors was that people want to and can change and get better, if rightly motivated; even "areas of development" could be worked on, if there was enough intention and resolve. All they needed were the right opportunities, the right support and the right reasons.  Some changes were naturally easier than others, but I believed that if the res...

Friends ... are like a breath of fresh air!

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Last week 2 very close friends from India visited Dubai - and I took some time off to be with them. Two very different kind of people - one I have known since I was 19 years (and we are now 55!) and one that first befriended me when I moved to Dubai 18 years ago. Since they both lived in Delhi, I introduced them to each other and now it's one big happy group :) At the end of the week, we were physically exhausted but mentally so refreshed and wanting more...  It made me realize how lucky I was vis-a-vis my friends - specifically my girlfriends. And I have friends ranging from Kindergarten to my last full time job. I am so grateful for my tribe that keep my life interesting and fun. Each of them are so different from each other and yet there's a strong bond that I share with them all. Despite each of us being separated by geographies or busy personal lives, we have always kept this bond alive by remaining in touch - thank goodness for technology! - and...