It takes both rain and sunshine ....to make a rainbow....

A lot has happened since I last was here .....

I am now settled in my new nest...in the new year.....

Most importantly, I lost my mother quite suddenly on Jan 4. 

For one so looking forward to the new year, it's been quite a start...really! As sometimes happens - when you start something with a lot of enthusiasm....something bad or sad happens and that kind of throws you off gear, leaves you rattled. But that I believe, is a test..... of Life....to see how you are really shaping up, how resilient you can be, how firm you are in your convictions......

At the stage I have reached in life, losing a parent is almost natural...many of my friends have been through it. I honestly have no regrets. My mom was always a passionate woman and loved and hated with equal fervor. She had lived a full life. She was getting very lonely ...and tired .....and just then, God decided to set her free. We could not have asked for a more peaceful death for a woman like her. For that, I will always be thankful to the One Above. 

My mother, in recent times, was also my most ardent "stalker"....despite being 73, she learned about social networking and smartphones and used technology to fill the long gaps in her lonely life. My belief that it is never too late to start learning possibly comes from her genes! Her constant messaging at times irritated me when I was busy with some task that needed concentration, but today that is what I miss the most...... the constant looking out for you and asking you the same questions that she had asked since you were possibly 5 years old....only a mom can do that and get away with it! Bless her.

I will miss you, Ma ..but I will not mourn your demise ...because I know you are in a happier place and also because now, you are in me, solely and purely.

Stay happy and joyous, wherever you are now, Ma. For you are now free....beyond every confinement and I know you hated them all.....Rest in Eternal Peace. Amen.

And in the meanwhile, down here ....Life goes on ....

Sometimes, it seems rude, even disrespectful ..the way we pick up the reigns of our daily lives so soon after a mishap like this. Surely, we should spent some more time lamenting, stopping the routine, the grind....and giving the departed soul some more of our attention....even if it's for the last time?

But as I learned during my mother's last rites, its best to "let go" as soon as possible...to enable her soul to transition into its next stage, so as not to be anymore bound by earthly attachments .....to be truly free.

And I have let go....she is gone and yet she is there all around me, and always will be.

So while it may look dark and very cloudy for now, I believe in the sun, even when its not shining .........

I know that it takes both rain and sunshine, to make a rainbow. 

I look forward to my rainbow ...yet again....




 

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