Knock, knock ....who's there?

I am not so sure ..... not anymore.... 

 It was not like this before. 
And it will not be like this for long, I know.

 But for now, I am not so sure there is somebody home.... 

 The restless spirit has escaped, it seems. Sneaked out like a jolly young puppy gleefully running down lanes that it does not know, yet fearing nothing - simply enjoying the freedom of the moment, the joy of rushing ....towards.....well, just rushing for now!!! 

 I should be worried. A lot around me nudges me to be more practical, but I am still not fazed by my circumstances.... nobody's home and yet I am not worried.... I don't look beyond a point. And that's saying a lot for a control freak like me. I am gradually ceasing to care.


The restless spirit deserves a break. It may come back, richer with its experiences and lead me to a new high or it may come back, tired and bereft of the enthusiasm it had while slipping out and seeking shelter again. I don't know. I am not even thinking about that right now. Anything beyond tomorrow seems too far in the horizon to fill in.....I only focus on my immediate next steps. 

 And I breathe.... I continue breathing....

 And I hope for a softer tomorrow.


Till then, no one answers the door.... no one can.....

 The person that used to live here, is temporarily unavailable. Part of her has escaped with her soul - roaming free and trying to find her true calling. Part of her is numb, devoid of most feelings, biding time. Blame, abuse, ridicule - these do not bother her anymore. Softer feelings shown towards her at times, scare her. 

 So please don't knock for a while. Let me be.... 

 Tomorrow's another day .... and the sun will shine again ... it always does..

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