The tigress ...... and khichhdi (how much change?)

A tigress can learn to eat "khicchdi" (soft mushy vegetarian food) at times .....and enjoy it. It's ok! 

I am a firm believer of change, of welcoming the new and adjusting yourself to what may not be very comfortable or even easy. But I believe that's the flow of life and that's how we have evolved....from apes to ...well, maybe different kind of monkeys !!!

Like it or not, change is going to come into your life. So it's best to not fight too much, the wisest counsel is to step back, broaden horizons, understand and be open to unfamiliar perspectives and learn to accept that the times are different, as they well should be.

So, a tigress can eat mushy vegetarian hospital type food at times without raising eyebrows. 

Circumstances beyond your control, your wisdom in making personal choices can prompt you to change - but how much can a person really change intrinsically? How much should a person push to change himself? 

From what I see around me, stuff happens and many times, one has to change to an extent, even unwillingly. But if that change is driven from the surface, it is rarely sustainable. It causes more turmoil. It does not allow for the mind and the soul to be at peace, ultimately. Due to personal circumstances, I have seen people try to emulate another person who they believe is more successful in dealing with similar circumstances, it makes them appear to be "stronger" "able to cope better" but when you scratch below the surface, it makes them miserable as persons - because it's not who they are. Deep within. And that's no good. 

I am a very opinionated person. I have always tended to be directive in my advise. That has even been perceived to be my "strength" - that I always seem to know what to do and I follow it through.

In reality, I am not sure I always know. I am not always sure of my "strength". Over the recent years, I have learnt to "understand" more of other's perspectives and that while my ways may work for me, it's difficult for others to follow suit ....and more importantly, not even ideal at times. Today, in some ways I am more tolerant than before. 

But ....

Can a leopard really change its spots? Really?

I still retain my passion for what I believe in and while I may not hold a gun at you to adapt the same stances, I do believe in them - they work, for me atleast. So my new found tolerance is only up to a point!!!!! 

And that's when I have realized : to adapt is relatively easy, to change from the core is not...and maybe it's not even desired.

Yes, especially at the stage of life we are in, we have to adapt our ways, be more open to other's behaving differently and not be judgmental; but we are who we are..for many many years.... while we must still try to overcome those obvious flaws in ourselves that now make life difficult for us and ours, we must remember who we are from within and understand how much we want to, how much we can, how much we need to ...change. 

Someone who has been an introvert all his life cannot turn into an extrovert, just because his new calling in life demands that. Yes, he must find ways to address his shortcomings , especially where it affects others but possibly not by changing who he is as person. And those to whom he matters, must understand that. 

Someone who has always spend her life, lovingly leaning on the shoulder of a loved one, cannot be expected to turn into a hard core feminist, needing no one but herself, to carry on, simply because of changed circumstances that she did not invite. Yes, she must understand the problems her naivety has caused and be careful not to be taken advantage of or be stupid, but she will always need to retain her softer side. To try and harden that bit will only cause turmoil deep within.

Someone who has wore a particular kind of look all her life must not be asked to change her attire only because we think it sets out a perception we are not comfortable with. Its about what she is comfortable with. It really should be about how much change she is comfortable with, not how much change we would like to see in her. 

So, yes I am all for change - but I will not compromise on my ideals, my values. 



I may be eating "khichhdi" today, but I still love my meat. I have not changed my stripes :)


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