For the restless spirit!

I've been away for a while... my only excuse is that the road did get a little bumpy in between.  But all's well. Paying no attention to anything else that was happening to me, A.G.E sneaked in and gave me a little nudge and I crossed over into my 48th year, surprisingly feeling more alive than ever. In exactly 3 days time, my world, my daughter will leave to pursue her dreams in a distant land, a completely new environment, leaving behind the infamous "empty nest". But I have decided to be what I recently read about - a H.E.N. - Happy Empty Nester :) While it will be extremely difficult to adjust to not seeing my most precious connect first thing every day and last thing every night, I know I will settle down. I know her dreams lie outside these 4 walls that are now too small for her young wings - she needs to be set free, to fly high, to fly free, to carve her own journey. And I am confident she will find her niche. While I watch her every move with pr...

7:15 pm Home Dubai I am back home after a long day at work. As I complete my usual chores upon return and settle into the living room couch this evening, I sense a change.... an impending life change coming my way.  Tick tock tick tock ......The cuckoo clock seems so much louder today; most days, I hardly notice it....  The apartment suddenly seems much larger than my needs.....reminding me that I really must consider moving...soon... There are many things that I have to do, many distractions that would keep me occupied if I allowed it to. But my body refuses to play ball. My soul wants only to brace itself for what lies ahead. I know what's around the bend. I have made a choice. And yet, as the time creeps closer, my heart beats a little faster, my eyes fill up at the slightest excuse, my soul wants to hold on a little tighter before letting go.....and I sense a numbness sneaking in....into my being....as if in preparat...

Dictionary meaning: A balance achieved between 2 desirable but incompatible features, a compromise. In recent conversations with my connects, I have been talking a lot about choices, options, decisions that set me thinking .... and hence this post.  In my relentless search for peace, I have realized more and more the need for such trade-offs. The faster we realize what these thresholds are for each of us, the closer we will get to a more peaceful plane. As human beings, "wants" are natural to us. We want whatever constitutes "good" - a good life, loving and caring family, great job, good friends, great car, good food, good times, etc. We want to keep what's working well for us and we want what looks good in other's lives as well.  "I want to be able to travel as often as she does.."  "I wish my life was as carefree and bohemian as his..." It's all too easy to want more, to look outside of ourselves and what we hav...

Now, I am now the mother of an adult ( and we shall not focus on how old that makes me!! ); my daughter turned 18 last week. Till her birthday actually arrived, I was busy with preparations to make it special for my princess. I was unprepared for something else ..... When I woke up that morning, I was taken aback by a little tug I felt within, a little pain that seemed to have appeared from nowhere. I walked into my daughter's room - she was still sleeping - and the tug got stronger, the eyes welled up..... I rushed out of her room! I sat down to wonder what happened? I had woken up with no sad feelings, then why couldn't I hold back the tears?  A little while later, as I sipped my coffee and pulled myself back together, I realized what this was all about ..... my soul was reminding me that I was THERE!!!!! That point in every parent's life when the long letting go begins..... And it registered only that morning ... that despite being an integr...

2014 was a dark year for me. But with God's grace and the strength and support of my loved ones, I made it through the storm. I survived.  I started with 2015 with very little expectations. I was focussing only on 1 dream, 1 goal and otherwise, just taking time to stabilize.... to learn to breathe again.  And my Shepherd kept me going. His blessings were manifested in my faith, my courage, my daughter, my "connects", my little drops of "blue"....  Today, as I look back at the first 6 months of 2015, I breathe a lot easier than I could afford to do last year.... barring one huge black spot in this period that rattled me again... He has been kind. I am thankful for kind mercies. Yet, I know it all could change again, as it did before, so I have learnt to make more of each day than before. I have learnt to appreciate more, to expect less.  And my recent experience has recapitulated my belief in remaining positive - even wh...

It's been a year, now. Time flies.....whether or not you are having fun. Like the gushing river, stopping for none. And Time teaches its lessons.... whether you learn or not. Maybe it keeps repeating its lessons till we get it. And I have learnt. Many new things in these last 12 months. And I have grown as a person, not just in age. And I would like to share some of these learnings again, in the hope that they may benefit someone, somewhere.... 1. Life's unpredictable. You can never prepare enough. We all plan for a tomorrow that we hope will come, but there really aren't any guarantees. In a flash, it could all change -sometimes, you can see it coming; sometimes, it hits you out of the blue. And you are left gasping. All you want to do is be able to breathe, to make it through each day. It's important that we understand this ephemeral nature of our lives. Its important to understand, given this background, what's really important and what only feeds our...

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. Khalil Gibran Scars .... As I look around these days, I see a lot of people with scars - real and perceived, big and small, healed or hidden - and I see the struggles that most of them go through to deal with these. I have had my fair share of these. Maybe that's why I see this more clearly now ... I understand now that to be able to bring peace within, to live in the moment, to be happy, these scars  need to be healed.  And that's the real test of mental strength. That's what these "massive characters" Khalil refers to, have managed to achieve. It's not easy. Especially if the scars have been life shattering. If they hurt to even acknowledge them. But that's the only route - of that, I am certain. There is absolutely no other way...  Carrying them to your grave doesn't make them go away either .... it could still come back.....