For the restless spirit!

Does sunrise mark the end of a night or the beginning of a day? I ended something today; but Life does not have a "pause" button. So, today I also began something new .... a journey unlike my earlier travails, a journey that has for now, no set destination or port of call ...but that doesn't bother me. For I have learnt to trust my sails and in those firm hands that have never let go.... On reflection, I realize that in this voyage through Life, we perceive many beginnings and endings but the cycle continues, unaffected ..... that river keeps flowing, steadily. Nothing can stop its flow, not for long.  And in the midst of that irreversible flow, we make our life choices.  There are highs and there are lows; we make associations that shape our ride at various points through our loved ones, our friends and even our foes; sometimes those connects break, sometimes new connects appear out of the blue, but the river does not stop, i...

A tigress can learn to eat "khicchdi" (soft mushy vegetarian food) at times .....and enjoy it. It's ok!  I am a firm believer of change, of welcoming the new and adjusting yourself to what may not be very comfortable or even easy. But I believe that's the flow of life and that's how we have evolved....from apes to ...well, maybe different kind of monkeys !!! Like it or not, change is going to come into your life. So it's best to not fight too much, the wisest counsel is to step back, broaden horizons, understand and be open to unfamiliar perspectives and learn to accept that the times are different, as they well should be. So, a tigress can eat mushy vegetarian hospital type food at times without raising eyebrows.  Circumstances beyond your control, your wisdom in making personal choices can prompt you to change - but how much can a person really change intrinsically? How much should a person push to change himself?  From what I see ...

It's been a while since I started living on my own..... it's just over a month since I dropped my daughter to college and returned home, dreading opening the door to an empty nest. Yes, I have survived and actually survived rather well.    Technology helped. Hugely. Seeing her on the other side of devices can never replace sitting next to her and hugging her, but being able to see her face while chatting over Skype every day is God-sent and exactly what those empty nesters of yesteryears missed!  And the more she seemed to settle down there, the more I was at peace here. Truly an amazing connect - that soothed the soul even  though we were miles apart. Today I live alone but I am not alone and I am not lonely. I am blessed, happy and calm. I am blessed with my inner circle that have never taken their eyes off me, lest I trip. I am blessed with special connects that have given me the space I wanted, whenever I wanted and understood t...

I've been away for a while... my only excuse is that the road did get a little bumpy in between.  But all's well. Paying no attention to anything else that was happening to me, A.G.E sneaked in and gave me a little nudge and I crossed over into my 48th year, surprisingly feeling more alive than ever. In exactly 3 days time, my world, my daughter will leave to pursue her dreams in a distant land, a completely new environment, leaving behind the infamous "empty nest". But I have decided to be what I recently read about - a H.E.N. - Happy Empty Nester :) While it will be extremely difficult to adjust to not seeing my most precious connect first thing every day and last thing every night, I know I will settle down. I know her dreams lie outside these 4 walls that are now too small for her young wings - she needs to be set free, to fly high, to fly free, to carve her own journey. And I am confident she will find her niche. While I watch her every move with pr...

7:15 pm Home Dubai I am back home after a long day at work. As I complete my usual chores upon return and settle into the living room couch this evening, I sense a change.... an impending life change coming my way.  Tick tock tick tock ......The cuckoo clock seems so much louder today; most days, I hardly notice it....  The apartment suddenly seems much larger than my needs.....reminding me that I really must consider moving...soon... There are many things that I have to do, many distractions that would keep me occupied if I allowed it to. But my body refuses to play ball. My soul wants only to brace itself for what lies ahead. I know what's around the bend. I have made a choice. And yet, as the time creeps closer, my heart beats a little faster, my eyes fill up at the slightest excuse, my soul wants to hold on a little tighter before letting go.....and I sense a numbness sneaking in....into my being....as if in preparat...

Dictionary meaning: A balance achieved between 2 desirable but incompatible features, a compromise. In recent conversations with my connects, I have been talking a lot about choices, options, decisions that set me thinking .... and hence this post.  In my relentless search for peace, I have realized more and more the need for such trade-offs. The faster we realize what these thresholds are for each of us, the closer we will get to a more peaceful plane. As human beings, "wants" are natural to us. We want whatever constitutes "good" - a good life, loving and caring family, great job, good friends, great car, good food, good times, etc. We want to keep what's working well for us and we want what looks good in other's lives as well.  "I want to be able to travel as often as she does.."  "I wish my life was as carefree and bohemian as his..." It's all too easy to want more, to look outside of ourselves and what we hav...

Now, I am now the mother of an adult ( and we shall not focus on how old that makes me!! ); my daughter turned 18 last week. Till her birthday actually arrived, I was busy with preparations to make it special for my princess. I was unprepared for something else ..... When I woke up that morning, I was taken aback by a little tug I felt within, a little pain that seemed to have appeared from nowhere. I walked into my daughter's room - she was still sleeping - and the tug got stronger, the eyes welled up..... I rushed out of her room! I sat down to wonder what happened? I had woken up with no sad feelings, then why couldn't I hold back the tears?  A little while later, as I sipped my coffee and pulled myself back together, I realized what this was all about ..... my soul was reminding me that I was THERE!!!!! That point in every parent's life when the long letting go begins..... And it registered only that morning ... that despite being an integr...

2014 was a dark year for me. But with God's grace and the strength and support of my loved ones, I made it through the storm. I survived.  I started with 2015 with very little expectations. I was focussing only on 1 dream, 1 goal and otherwise, just taking time to stabilize.... to learn to breathe again.  And my Shepherd kept me going. His blessings were manifested in my faith, my courage, my daughter, my "connects", my little drops of "blue"....  Today, as I look back at the first 6 months of 2015, I breathe a lot easier than I could afford to do last year.... barring one huge black spot in this period that rattled me again... He has been kind. I am thankful for kind mercies. Yet, I know it all could change again, as it did before, so I have learnt to make more of each day than before. I have learnt to appreciate more, to expect less.  And my recent experience has recapitulated my belief in remaining positive - even wh...

It's been a year, now. Time flies.....whether or not you are having fun. Like the gushing river, stopping for none. And Time teaches its lessons.... whether you learn or not. Maybe it keeps repeating its lessons till we get it. And I have learnt. Many new things in these last 12 months. And I have grown as a person, not just in age. And I would like to share some of these learnings again, in the hope that they may benefit someone, somewhere.... 1. Life's unpredictable. You can never prepare enough. We all plan for a tomorrow that we hope will come, but there really aren't any guarantees. In a flash, it could all change -sometimes, you can see it coming; sometimes, it hits you out of the blue. And you are left gasping. All you want to do is be able to breathe, to make it through each day. It's important that we understand this ephemeral nature of our lives. Its important to understand, given this background, what's really important and what only feeds our...

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. Khalil Gibran Scars .... As I look around these days, I see a lot of people with scars - real and perceived, big and small, healed or hidden - and I see the struggles that most of them go through to deal with these. I have had my fair share of these. Maybe that's why I see this more clearly now ... I understand now that to be able to bring peace within, to live in the moment, to be happy, these scars  need to be healed.  And that's the real test of mental strength. That's what these "massive characters" Khalil refers to, have managed to achieve. It's not easy. Especially if the scars have been life shattering. If they hurt to even acknowledge them. But that's the only route - of that, I am certain. There is absolutely no other way...  Carrying them to your grave doesn't make them go away either .... it could still come back.....

I've been away for a while.... Life has a way of overtaking you at times... and then it stops and looks back, benevolently, almost like it's allowing you to catch up, to catch your breath...before it starts its relentless journey again, a journey no one can truly control! While I was gone, a lot happened in my otherwise stormy life .....some horrible stuf, some not so bad ....but what it reiterated for me was that this Life comes with no guarantee, absolutely none! Because you have good health today and you work hard to keep it that way, doesn't mean you will live for long. Because you often neglect your health and indulge, doesn't mean your end will not be peaceful.  Because you have  many friends today, doesn't mean you will not be lonely, ever. Because you have strong relationships today, doesn't mean they will last forever. Because you have a roof over your head and food for your mouth, doesn't mean you cann...

This is especially for all those strong men and women that I know of .....  This is to say that while I may or may not understand your journeys, I surely understand the effort it takes for you to keep showing that mental strength, keep being the lighthouse in stormy seas ...... despite the tumultuous storms that rage within.  I salute you.   I believe I belong to this group. I am often referred to a "strong woman". I know I am one. And because I am "strong", I know what it takes to be "strong". Unfortunately, not many realize this. Life has knocked me down a couple of times, has hit so hard I barely could breathe.... but because of the One Hand that never lets go.... I have managed to hold on, to dust off the muck and stand again, even if the ground I stand on today, is not so firm. But I still stand tall.  Not many know the battles that I have had to fight - I do not wish them to know. Not many know the emotional outbur...