For the restless spirit!

I am not so sure ..... not anymore....  It was not like this before.  And it will not be like this for long, I know. But for now, I am not so sure there is somebody home....  The restless spirit has escaped, it seems. Sneaked out like a jolly young puppy gleefully running down lanes that it does not know, yet fearing nothing - simply enjoying the freedom of the moment, the joy of rushing ....towards.....well, just rushing for now!!!  I should be worried. A lot around me nudges me to be more practical, but I am still not fazed by my circumstances.... nobody's home and yet I am not worried.... I don't look beyond a point. And that's saying a lot for a control freak like me. I am gradually ceasing to care. The restless spirit deserves a break. It may come back, richer with its experiences and lead me to a new high or it may come back, tired and bereft of the enthusiasm it had while slipping out and seeking shelter again. I don't know....

The mind is indeed, everything.....  So what are you doing to keep it healthy, cleansed and in peace?  Last night, I spent a lot of time simply focussing on my mind. The day was over and I was ready to retire ..... but my restless mind was not ready to sleep. No, there was nothing specific on my mind that was bothering me - just a mental sense of "hello, may I get some attention here please?"..... my mind indicated that it wanted to "talk" to me.....  And I let it .... I let it go through its motions, a myriad of emotions unfolded as I sat with myself for almost 3 hours .....it was almost like a well planned gym workout. I sat like a close friend of my mind - simply listening, laughing, crying, comforting..... just being there, understanding. The wind played with my hair and I felt the affection in its ruffles; the waves crashed to the shores like the emotions that were coming forcefully into focus, only to fade away, in preparation f...

March 8 : International Women's Day  International Women's Day is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future. I am a strong feminist. I believe we women, make this universe a softer, humane and more interesting place. Yes, we are nurturers by nature. But thankfully, today we nurture not only kids, but entire families, corporations, communities, even states. We, women, have come a long way. And it's no competition with the men, as often is  perceived. It's simply a statement that we need to be accepted as we are. I am proud I am a woman.... Despite often being treated as children of lesser Gods, not given equal opportunities at many times, we rise against all odds, shouldering responsibilities, protecting our worlds as fiercely as only a woman can. Salute! Despite often being taken advantage of, on the streets, in offices, sometimes, even in the so-called safety of our ...

My daughter has started the last exam she will take while in school - then she goes on to college. I am hopeful that she will go to college in a distant land - far away from me. Many close to me find this difficult to fathom that given where I stand in life, I wish for her to go away and live away from me.....  To be completely honest, it freaks me out too. Sometimes, my mind fast forwards to the end of this year, when she is not around ....... and I plunge into severe depression..... I howl softly into my blanket, cuddling my soft pillow.... But I don't dwell on it too much ..... I try and shift my focus as soon as possible ..... that is a bridge I will cross, when I come to it. For now, I bring the focus back to the excitement of a 17 year old preparing to leave her nest and face the world alone.....I share her feverish anticipation.  I want to give her wings, I have always done this  ......wings... to fly as high as she wishes, to places an...

There was something on my mind ....the past few months.... a situation that I knew would come about, sometime or the other.... and I could never predict which way I would react. And because I was not sure, I may have been possibly trying to avoid the situation in a way..... Yesterday, it happened .... and I responded .... in a way that surprised me too. There was no huge explosion inside, it didn't even whimper actually.... And I learnt again .....  The best way to deal with our inner most fears or doubts is to confront them.....  Instead, most of the times, we shy away as we are not so sure of ourselves and our reactions - we don't know what to expect, but we do expect being uncomfortable and that is enough for us to avoid situations, confrontations, people, reality.  Yet, I have always seen that when we do muster up courage or when there is no way to avoid and we have to stare our fear in the eye...... there's usually not much to it.......

I have hesitated many times, before I could bring myself to blog about this ..... not sure I qualified to comment on something so close to home; not sure my perspective was not unnecessarily colored.... but as I looked around and witnessed the same things happening over and over again... I felt a suffocating need to share - if not anything, just my own views and reflections on something I have seen so closely.  It's about this institution called "marriage". Most of my friends (including me) come from times when a marriage was meant for keeps. Unlike times earlier to us, you could still "play around" before marriage, "test waters" if you had to, take a little more time than the earlier generations, have a lot more freedom than your parents to chose your partners.... but when you decided to tie the knot, it was kind of a lifetime commitment. Yet, as the years passed, a lot of us started having this nagging fear that "marital bliss" as we...

Today I speak with less vulnerability.  The year has gone, past.... it can touch me no more.....It's last few days somehow caused a nervousness I didn't understand. I felt the need to hide, to lie low  .... it was like all of last year's ugly shadows came up to haunt me one last time, before they finally flew away or disintegrated or whatever....it was rough. But it's done now. 2014 is history.  Yet, 2014 has been a watershed - a great teacher to me - unlike many many years that went before it. And I have realized why its lessons hit so hard....It was my lack of preparedness for them, my naivety - for which I have no one to blame but myself.  So, as I look back from the shores of 2015, I realize that I also have to be kind to my teacher .....and here goes.... 2014:  I will never forget you for .... the vast difference in how I started the year and how I ended it reminding me once again - harshly,...