For the restless spirit!

Today marks the end of my summer of 2024. Not because it's any special day in the calendar but simply because I have marked it so. ( These days, I mostly do as I please! )  Today I do nothing but simply look back.... I am not a fan of summers normally - especially given that I have been based in a sandpit for the last 20 odd years. Like most of us expats who live here in the Middle East, I have always found summers a good time to escape - either travel  back to India or to visit other countries that have, or used to have, cooler temperatures.  This year, I stayed put, mostly :) And it was different.  Yes, it was very hot and one had to stay indoors almost all the time but there was a sense of quiet and peace in and around Dubai that I quite enjoyed. Over the last 2 months, almost every expat had left the country, there were less cars, less traffic, less noise, empty malls and restaurants and generally a sense of slowing down every where. Even less socializing! So one...

As the years pass by, I realize, more and more, the importance of drawing lines. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The world is divisive enough on its own - some may say do we really need more boundaries between us?  The answer to this question could be debated. Yet, I have always been a fan of personal spaces - a concept alien to most Asians, definitely Indians! For me, it's linked to giving another human being the respect he/she deserves and ensuring that I have the same - the space to breathe free, to think without any pressures, to decide on my own. I tend to feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable, otherwise.  However, growing up - especially in my twenties and thirties, I did prioritize on "belonging" - to many groups and communities, for both personal and professional reasons. My circles grew so large that by the time I was in my mid forties, I again felt the need to set some controls once again - ...

  It's a new year again, new beginnings as they say .... and I wish for all, beginning with me, to be better, updated versions of themselves this year.  Yesterday, I met up with some friends and we were discussing about how we are changing constantly as the years roll by, as our perspectives change, as we "mature" and grow older! We spoke about how we used to be, say even 5 years ago, and how much of that has changed now. We also debated about whether it was even possible to change who you are intrinsically!  What I took home with me is that most of us are always "work in progress".... We are who we need to be, depending on where we are standing in our life's journey. At times, we are fierce warriors; at other times, we are gentle nurturers. Some phases make us materialistic as we build our worlds for those we love and care for and we wish for more; then, as the years pass, we move to more spiritual realms when we learn to let go of more and get back to the ...

Dec 1, 2023 Suddenly the year seems almost gone and its time for the usual annual reflections - how did it all go for me? did I move the dial in any way?  I have been blessed to have yet another year - pretty much the way I wanted it to be, so personally, no regrets and a lot of gratitude!  This year I also did a few things I had not done before - and each of these experiences have been an opportunity to learn, to grow and to expand my horizons. Courtesy them, I have realized once again that your world can expand and contract just the way you want it to. - if you are mindful enough.  Recently I was in Bengaluru and a dear friend, whilst clicking this picture below, told me about an art installation that she had seen depicting that we can, using our hands, expand or contract our world. It struck a chord!  Till about a year ago, I was busy purging all that I felt no longer served me in my current chapter - old unused belongings, some relationships that had run its cour...

We are social animals.  That's what we have been taught and that's what we believe in. Coming from a small family where we kind of went our own ways very soon, friends quickly became my social safety net - and so it remains. Expat life made this more relevant and the social functions of a family  were almost seamlessly taken over by my amigos, over the years. Today, if I think of a happy gathering of people to celebrate anything, I first think of friends and whatever family remains, follows next.  I am pleasantly surprised by those I see still surrounded by close family members and actually choosing to spend their happy and sad moments with them - I wonder what they did differently to be able to remain this way in a world where friends have mostly become what family used to be!  However, that is not the point of this post - this is about our own sense of community and how growing older has impacted this feeling of belonging for me.  Those who know me well, know ...

Change has always been a keyword in my life. I acknowledge that it is the only constant. Many a time, I have been a frontrunner in bringing about this change - personally and professionally.  Yet, one question has always been at the back of my mind as I worked through Change and People over the years.  Can a person truly change - intrinsically? at the very core?  I am not sure I have an answer, even today!  A large part of my adult and professional life has been dedicated towards helping people develop and grow - through overcoming weaknesses or acquiring appropriate new skills and learned behaviors. The foundation of these endeavors was that people want to and can change and get better, if rightly motivated; even "areas of development" could be worked on, if there was enough intention and resolve. All they needed were the right opportunities, the right support and the right reasons.  Some changes were naturally easier than others, but I believed that if the res...

Last week 2 very close friends from India visited Dubai - and I took some time off to be with them. Two very different kind of people - one I have known since I was 19 years (and we are now 55!) and one that first befriended me when I moved to Dubai 18 years ago. Since they both lived in Delhi, I introduced them to each other and now it's one big happy group :) At the end of the week, we were physically exhausted but mentally so refreshed and wanting more...  It made me realize how lucky I was vis-a-vis my friends - specifically my girlfriends. And I have friends ranging from Kindergarten to my last full time job. I am so grateful for my tribe that keep my life interesting and fun. Each of them are so different from each other and yet there's a strong bond that I share with them all. Despite each of us being separated by geographies or busy personal lives, we have always kept this bond alive by remaining in touch - thank goodness for technology! - and...

and they will.... rarely have I met a person who has walked through life without being hurt by someone else! It is almost natural and primarily because we as humans, E.X.P.E.C.T.  Thankfully there are also people who will surprise you with their random acts of kindness and support. But this is not maths and I believe the cut from someone close goes deeper. In the course of my life, I have had my fair share of disappointments - some of them really shook my world - but in recent years, I have learnt to deal with such things and eventually look beyond and that's what I wanted to share with you all today.  The first part of disappointment is to acknowledge it - even identifying exactly which part of his/her action hurt you the most. This is an important first step!  The mind naturally then races to the second part - why? why did he/she behave this way? This is the beginning of the most meaningless conversation you can have with yourself. This post-mortem will g...

I have always wanted to live and grow older with grace!   Probably this has to do with my convent school upbringing where grace was an essential part of being a lady :) I have always been that person who prefers to have everything under her control, the person who always knew what she had to do and who progressed towards those goals, personal or professional, with gusto. The one giving directions, supporting others not as focussed and encouraging them to keep moving. More or less, always in top gear - sometimes even when I might have liked a breather!  And then I decided to move onto a new chapter and life taught me new lessons. I grew.  Any journey can never be always on top gear - it shouldn't. The other gears are there for appropriate reasons and they need to be used when the time is right.  I learnt, at work, to step back gradually when the young and the restless were keen to take on the reigns. Holding on then would have been perceived as resistin...

I enrolled myself in a writing course last year - the reason being the course was called "Writing to uncover your authentic self" - too intriguing to let go and I enjoyed writing anyways. It's been a lovely experience so far and I have indeed discovered / rediscovered a lot about myself during the introspection the course encourages.  One recent prompt the course provided was about processing our own emotions / feelings - both good and bad.  The instructions were to think back to as far as we can and then write an essay about how we have been dealing with our emotions over the years. So I reflected... And I quickly realized that typical Indian households - atleast at the time I was growing up - didn't really acknowledge, deal or even discuss much about the kids' emotions. I am sure there were far too many other things going on that demanded priority. Kids, when happy, were maybe given a hug, a special meal or a pat on the back. When sad or scared or angry, ...

Like the bootcut jeans that are thankfully back in vogue, let's bring back LOVE! I have said before and I repeat -  I believe the world has become too full of cynicism - doom and gloom is everywhere you look - our politics, economics, climate, social structures all seem to point southwards and it's no wonder we are scared and stressed or building coping walls with ample dashes of cynicism - what's the point anyways?  Oh,, there still are romances and flowers and cozy dinners and dates no doubt, but few and far in between - and even with those engaging in such romantic activities, I have realized that not all have the deep emotions that Love entails - a lot is done for social media and because that is kind of expected, if you are a couple.  This is not the kind of Love I am referring to - I am talking about some "old school loving" - where you held hands and watched sunsets, talking and connecting to each other about your dreams, your fears and your tomorrow. I am ...

When has Time ever been known to wait for anyone?  Sure enough, the first month of 2023 is fast approaching its close and we seem to have set the tones and vibes for the next 11 months ahead. Personally, the first month of this year has been quite interesting. It started off with Love and Hope - a very dear friend remarried in a beautiful ceremony and we all celebrated the joys of new beginnings, irrespective of what the past might have served. In a world where marriages seem to be crumbling more than laying a solid social foundation, here were 2 people in their midlives, wanting to be swayed up in Love's roller coaster journey believing they could make it beautiful as long as they were together. And I want to believe that they will! And I hope Love will make a big comeback - for all .... the world needs much more of it, for sure.  Professionally, a couple of random opportunities came up and whilst I have not firmed up any as yet, it's always good to...

Year 2022 - the year where the world started its reset from a pandemic that had almost obliterated the last 2 years. And we are already at the fag end of the calendar - that last festive week when people travel to meet their loved ones, to escape from routine, they get together with friends and family to celebrate endings and welcome new beginnings.   As with each year, 2022 has also been a ride - perhaps it was a roller coaster for some whilst it was smooth sailing for the luckier ones. But a ride is a ride - it always takes you somewhere. And what better time than now to look back and see how far we have come?  I have now completed 2 years since I gave up my corporate life and the transition, whilst not quite what I had planned, seems complete. And I have zero regrets! The best way for me to relive the last 12 months is to look through my photo album on my phone (anyone who knows me will know why!!) and what I see reminds me of how blessed I am - as I see so many happy memor...

  The Oxford dictionary meaning of this word "boundary" is "a line which marks the limits of an area, a dividing line". I have always been a proponent of another kind - emotional boundaries - and these have not always been received well. For some reason, boundaries seem to have a slightly negative connotation for many - focusing more on where you can't go. We seem to forget that boundaries are also about respect - for a nation, a community, a home and very importantly, for your own personal space. We are social animals and that's how we have evolved - by doing things together, gaining in strength and gaining in power. Yet as societies evolved, especially in times of globalization, we also struggled to hold on to our individualities. The world has fast become almost a global village with a McDonald's at almost every corner. Many benefits have indeed been accrued by this breaking down of boundaries and I love it too, Yet I believe, somewhere in this journe...

..... the first 2 months of 2022 are past us now .... The central theme of the last 2 years - the pandemic - seemed to be finally easing its iron grip on the world as nations, economies, communities start to limp back to a life more resembling the one we left behind in 2019.  Yet, before we could adjust to the new normal, out of the blue and because we as humans, simply refuse to learn, war, an act of aggression against another nation comes back to our horizons, our homes, our TVs and our realities. And we thought this was a medium of decision making decades ago!   Covid was not anyone's choice or atleast we still assume it wasn't ..... war is. Recently, I have been reading the book "Sapiens" by Yuval Noah Harari and was quite interested by the ways in which we, humans, have developed over millions of years; however equally intriguing seemed the ways in which we have continued the ways of the less civilized society of yesteryears. And this wa...